Let’s Play the Bird Flu Strategy Game!

You had to know this was coming. The hype and resurgence from all channels, including the Weather Channel, says that we can expect to be hip deep in dead birds starting this summer—just as migratory birds make their way down from Alaska and Canada. The peak migration time will be this August.

Financial people “in the know” are telling us to stock up on foodstuffs to avoid having to go out, and to invest in healthcare stocks and biomedical firms engaged in Bird Flu research and vaccine development.

I have a better plan.

While reckless herds of sheep are diving into these “recommendations,” I plan on buying up stocks of leading meat manufacturers NOW before the crisis actually hits.

Why, you may ask? It’s simple—demand will be sparked for hoarding all kinds of poultry products, clearing off shelves and freezer sections, followed by a raid on OTHER meats (what else will be available by then?), forcing the prices of ALL edible meats to skyrocket.

If you’re like me and eat organic meat, you’d better begin laying in a supply NOW, because organically-raised birds are going to succumb to this flu before sheltered-and-inoculated birds will. Demand will then shift to the remaining stocks of organic meats, which will also run low in spite of skyrocketing prices. This flu may spell the demise of organic poultry for a few years afterward until stocks can be adequately replenished, and it may create more vegetarians before all is said and done.

I imagine foods of all sorts will be hoarded, and then become scarce and pricey as the flu becomes continent-wide, but there are whole warehouses full of the stuff to make investment in companies like ADM or ConAgra a mediocre scenario at best. Only if we become restricted to the indoors will these two conglomerates become a worthwhile part of the strategy, along with internet grocery companies and delivery services.

The Bird Flu makes me wish there was some sort of a meat index. I hate having to buy individual stocks, but I see no other way to take advantage of this occurrence.

Some company names that are now in my freezer and soon to be in my portfolio, provided they offer stock:

• Blackwing Meats (ostrich, buffalo)
• Organic Valley (pork, beef, chicken)
• Coleman Meats (chicken)
• Shelton Poultry (turkey)
• Grateful Harvest (beef)

You might want to search the internet or Nasdaq to find other companies who sell organic meats, organic eggs (if the chickens die, where will the eggs come from?), or even commercially-raised poultry and eggs, such as Tyson, Pilgrim’s Pride, Perdue, and other meat sources, such as Smithfield (pork), beef producers, etc.—and don’t forget about those eggs!

In China, KFC had to ditch the chicken and serve fried fish—another clue for playing this disease, because it may happen here as well.

As for betting on beleaguered vegetarians, I wouldn’t bother with it—since produce comes from all over the planet, it’s highly unlikely that there’d be any shortage unless we’re all driven indoors by this thing. I guess our “Homeland Security anti-terrorism kits” (the plastic sheets and duct tape Rumsfeld told us all to buy) may finally come in handy.

Tell me—do YOU foresee a tofu shortage coming out of all this? I certainly don’t. Nuts and beans, maybe (if this thing hangs around long enough), but not tofu.

Put some MEAT (and eggs) into your portfolio this Bird Flu season!