My Big Fat Inanimate Object

Has America gone blind or hard of seeing? Is there some mysterious eye disease I’ve been left out of?

Oh the insanity! On an HGTV show called “Freestyle”, decorators come in and redo your place using solely what you already possess, I have seen countless violators of the TV Size-to-Occupant Ratio law (unwritten, of course).

To wit: one or two young dwellers, in a one-room apartment, owning a TV the size of my mother-in-law’s old chest freezer (or larger).

Another space-to-use violation: the couch. Does every NYC-sized studio apartment dweller think it’s okay to buy a couch the size of their entire living room? Must everyone own a sectional with that “chaise lounge” or recliner piece at the end for their first sofa away from home?

I could go on about refrigerator and freezer sizes, but you get the picture by now.

Young, first-time home buyers or apartment renters are buying WAY over their limits of space and income. They came from home, and they harbor this notion of doing AT LEAST as good as their parents right out of the gate. What they aren’t realizing (until it’s too late) is that it took Mommy and Daddy upwards of 20 years to get where Junior expects to start off—and they did it with kids in tow, which meant a lot of silent scrimping.

Heaven forbid Junior experiences life with milk crates, bean bags, and paper plates in his first home away from home! And heaven forbid that Junior stops at a thrift store to furnish his abode with used items—items that are still serviceable, and in some cases, stronger than today’s newer contemporary counterpart. No, not for Junior—it’s sleek, modern-looking particleboard for him, even if he has to sweat a little assembling it himself. Chances are it won’t last more than a few moves, but he forges ahead anyway.

He will furnish his apartment with the latest, the greatest, and the biggest he can afford, or afford to finance. Later, he will wonder why he’s always so strapped for money—and the couch will be faded, frayed, and a big space-eater; the TV will also be a space-eating as well as energy-eating monster; and the shelving unit will have given way to the overload of books and CDs on it. As time goes by, nobody will come over to watch the game any more, like they did when he first bought the TV and couch. He himself hardly watches TV any more with his hectic work schedule, but those digital cable bills keep rolling in anyway.

Next thing you know, he will meet a girl, marry her, and decide his place is just too small. No—the problem is that the couch and TV were too big! Then she will decide that the nest needs new feathers (emphasis on NEW), and on and on, right out to the driveway, where the car will suddenly be too small as well.

This is how the whole “moving up” concept gets started, and it starts with a look at a big fat inanimate object that someone else could afford to waste money on. It may look great in the store, but what about home space dimensions? What about rational use and energy costs, both personal and utility? What about replacement cost? Think, Junior, think.

The 20-and-30-somethings wonder why they start out life in debt…and we haven’t even factored in college costs yet!