Invasion of the Pod People, Round 2 (L-O-N-G)

No, this isn’t about some sci-fi horror flick, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the blasted I-pod. It has a lot to do with peas and politics, however.

My husband has taken to calling people who have that little fish logo on the backs of their cars to symbolize their religion “fish people.” I am taking to calling eco-weenies “pod people” because they seem to worship the same set of PROFIT prophets: Al Gore, Ed Begley Jr., Michael Moore, and Robert Kennedy (the radical extremist of the bunch). Well, Michael Moore isn’t so much of an eco-weenie, but he rates up there with the rest of the “profit” prophets.

I only wish the pods they came from never opened. They snatch minds instead of bodies.

The first invasion happened in the 60’s with the first wave of hippies. In their effort to thwart all things good, decent, and conservative, they went out and protested their way through high school and college years (at least they made it to college!), and ended up getting jobs in places where they could effect the most change in public and social policy. We’re still paying for their efforts today, as well as contending with the changes coming down the pike.

After 40-some-odd years of social and political change, you’d think we’d have learned by now that issues have two sides: benefits and consequences. Most of the changes that came about as a result of the last wave of hippie overthrow have left us with dire lasting consequences—consequences that would take anther generation of hippie overthrow to correct…or make even worse.

Let me give you some examples:

• CAFÉ standards—the smaller and more efficient the car, the less safe it is, and the higher our gas taxes get raised to make up for income loss.

• EPA and wetlands protection—every mud puddle has the potential to be classified as a “wetland” (even if it’s in your back yard) because a bird might land there to drink or bathe.

• Title 9 sports programs—because women’s sports have died off, men’s sports have to die in equal numbers regardless of participation and fan support.

• Diversity—everyone should be given a chance to go to college, even if they don’t possess the intelligence to be there.

• Catalytic converters—removes lead and pollutants from the burnt fuel (even though we now use unleaded gas), and robs us of 10 miles per gallon doing it.

• Low-flush toilets—now we get to flush twice to get the same action as one flush took us in our old toilets. Exactly WHERE’S the savings here?

• DDT, and other beneficial chemicals—now we have malaria breakouts and other formerly-eradicated diseases cropping up globally when they were once under control.

• Nuclear power plants and oil refineries—NIMBYs have driven us to this energy-deprived state we’re in now because of an irrational and unfounded fear of a mass-casualty accident or irreparably disrupting nature and habitats. Even Chernobyl had no more than 100 deaths in its meltdown, and those people were working INSIDE the plant! ANWR worshippers won’t even give us a chance to prove drilling can be done eco-sensitively.

Nowadays, we have Pod People TNG issues to worry about, like:

• Light bulbs—CFC bulbs contain mercury, and need to be disposed of as hazardous material. It was bad enough to spend $7 per bulb, and now we have $35 LED bulbs as the new up-and-comer. These “new” bulbs only have a 10-year lifetime (similar to CFC bulbs)—for five times the price, it should have five times the life!

• Bottled water—the plastic bottles form this totally-unnecessary product are clogging landfills, and bottled water purity is largely unregulated. The bottles themselves leach chemicals back into the water, but you won’t hear anything about that from them!

• Alternative energy—there simply aren’t enough alternatives to get us off oil, so let us drill or nuke up, or get off our backs. Low-income people can barely afford to live as it is, and Pod People want them to somehow pony up for the extra expense of alternatives!

• Universal health care—we all should be required to pay for something we don’t all want or need because some of us can’t seem to eat right, exercise, or correctly supplement ourselves. Bring out the safety nets!

• The war in Iraq—Cindy Sheehan has a Chinaman’s chance in hell of replacing Nancy Pelosi, especially with absolutely-no-political background from which to start campaigning. Just sit back and let ol’ Guns-n-Butter leave office in ’08, and watch the Dems do the work for you, Cindy. The troops WILL come home—it’s just a matter of when.

• New CAFÉ standards—now they want to make cars even MORE unsafe and expensive.

• Global warming—it’s called weather, get used to it. If you don’t like it, plant trees.

• Other issues that require us to SPEND in order to SAVE something—namely, the planet, and for what? More importantly, for WHOM--a bunch of idiots that are going to exploit it the same way we are, only minus a basic education and with a whole lot of emotional baggage? Then who are THEY going to save it for, if at all? All our work will have been in vain.

For more, please read a copy of Eco Freaks.

Here we go again down the path of expedience and least resistance without regard for long-term consequences. Buckle your seatbelts!

What’s different about this new batch of pod people issues is the amount of money they insist we spend to avoid certain doom, and how rabidly radical some people have gotten over their issues. When you have a Kennedy child telling people at a concert (with open mikes everywhere, and televised to boot) saying that anyone who doesn’t believe in global warming is a traitor to this country, and should be treated like one (shot or imprisoned), I have a problem. This kind of rabid radicalism should be right up there with the Taliban and Al-Qaeda.

Robert Kennedy may as well be the Osama bin Laden of environmentalists. I recently learned he was just trying to protect his newly-formed industry—Environmental Law. As a lawyer, he needs someone to prosecute or defend, and what better way to shake us down than with a trumped-up industry and trumped-up charges! I smell a Sharpton…

The last batch of Pod People has this in common with today’s batch: the destruction of non-believers, dissent, and capitalist markets; the promotion of nature and a completely level playing field (as they see it), and to hell with long-term consequences. It’s become a religion, and these are the Evangelicals of the left. Orwellian pigs need not apply.

I wasn’t old enough to know who pulled the strings back in the last round of Pod People invasion, but I sure do know who pulls the strings now—would-be politicians, money-seekers, and influence-peddlers. It’s amazing what some people can do with a movie script, a book, or even a TV show, and it’s even more amazing to see the sheer numbers of people who eagerly comply and agree with certain political dogma.

“I see Pod People…they’re everywhere…and they don’t even know they’re being used!”

It takes a certain kind of person to see just how many of us peasants would rather be led around by the neck than think and act for ourselves, and concoct a belief system designed to take advantage of that fact (religion, environmentalism, you name it). Of course, advantage always means MONETARY as well as POLITICALLY.

When things try to get imposed on us, we fight back with free markets, and try to let demand decide the fate of things. Unfortunately, good old-fashioned supply and demand doesn’t always allow for the flourishing of bad ideas, concepts, and products, forcing the objectionable agenda to go into the political market, seeking refuge through policy implementation and/or subsidies. Of course, this means a barrage of inaccurate data go along with it, as well as a heaping helping of emotional blackmail (politicians are part sheep too, and can be swayed just like us). Hence, the development of the “mockumentary” as a swaying tool—it’s brief, lively, and titillating enough to work on your average time-starved politician.

When the free markets can’t profit from Pod People ideas or products, the political markets sure can—it just gives more grist for the lobbying and loophole mill. A politician can profit almost as much (if not more) from an idea or agenda as the originating product-maker. So much for anti-capitalism, a dearly-held tenet of Pod People everywhere!

As long as we carefully investigate each issue before we make up our minds to join the fray or ignore it, the free markets are all we have to stop this new invasion. When the free markets speak louder than politics, then Pod People eradication will begin.

I’d love to be able to spray Roundup on them as I come across them, but that would be committing murder—how else does one kill weeds? :)