Elections: The Ultimate Marketing Scheme

Primaries. Super Tuesday. Super Duper Tuesday. Tsunami Tuesday. We’ve all heard these terms used to describe huge campaign events.

But what exactly ARE campaign events, and campaigns in general? They’re marketing schemes designed to distract you from the reality that whomever you “vote” for, it doesn’t count.

What’s the difference between what a store does to try to get you to buy more of their stuff, and seemingly endless rounds of debates, speeches, and public appearances? Nothing. Both stores and candidates are trying to get you to “buy” (or buy into) more of their stuff.

The more they campaign, speechify, and debate, the clearer their “stuff” becomes—in the case of Hillary and universal health care, she intends to have everyone on some sort of coverage or their wages will be garnished for federal coverage fees. This is clearly a power play, and a vote for Hillary means you’d like her to make your health care choices for you.

On the other hand, Hillary says she’s in favor of capitalism, markets, and lowering corporate tax rates—she wouldn’t dare bite the hand that feeds her campaign coffers. There’s a reason why she went to New York—it was either that or California. That’s where the money is, folks. Big-time contributors live in those two states.

This is a heck of a lot of dog-and-pony show to go through when a vote (even all of them) doesn’t matter one jot. The fact that a successful campaign for a $400k job now runs over $100 million is obscene, especially since none of it has to take place at all.

Ah, the marketing—misplaced at best, and ineffective at worst. It’s the DELEGATES who need all this marketing, not us. Even then, individual voting records can be looked up to get a glimpse of the candidate’s real motives and intentions based on past history. So why the carnival masks of “what I’m going to do for you” when the voting record clearly says otherwise? They’re marketing for your meaningless vote, and that of the meaningful delegates. Candidates are appealing to our emotions, just like print and TV ads. We are irrational creatures, and can be swayed one way or another, provided the right bait is hung before us.

Time after time, the far-right conservatives are swayed with the values-and-anti-abortion bait, while the far-left liberals are swayed with offers of benefits for all, and government control/regulation bait to ensure it stays that way. Everything else is considered middle ground, and is up for grabs.

Come inauguration day, the “winner” may try to get a few campaign promises through Congress, fail, and end up repeating old habits—retreating to safer ground. He/she got to where they wanted to get, and the marketing machine has been unplugged and put into storage until re-election fund-raising time comes again. This is akin to grocery store ad cycles—the Sunday ad is out, then the Wednesday ad, then Sunday again, and another Wednesday, and so on. Some stores only have one ad cycle (only Sundays or only Wednesdays) instead of the Sunday and Wednesday cycle, but it’s a cycle nonetheless. The ad “winners” that sold the most aren’t likely to show up again unless overall sales are flagging—too much repeated margin loss isn’t good for business.

Every time you see a campaign ad, think of the sale, clearance, closeout, and discontinued signs you see in stores that lure you over to look and possibly buy. In this instance politicians are on sale instead of merchandise. Their signs say “vote for me” instead of “sale”, but there’s fine print in both cases—the fine print is what your political candidate ISN’T telling you, and will surprise you with when they win office and manage to get through Congress. Then there’s fine print involved in just getting to pull the lever: eligibility, compromised electronic voting machines, downed computers and power outages, weather-related issues, literacy and competency tests, sudden changes in dates and polling places without proper notification, child care issues, the media making early calls, or the worst one of all—when your candidate bails out before your state even has its primary, and there’s nothing left but turd sandwiches and giant douches to choose from. All these things help to control access to the polls and who gets to “buy the merchandise” just like a VIP shopper discount card controls how many get access to special discounted merchandise prices.

Holiday and special event marketing = pandering. What’s the difference between gearing an ad to the Super Bowl or Thanksgiving and gearing a campaign towards women or a specific minority? Nothing—they’re both target marketing.

Now that you see political campaigning for what it really is, why do you bother to be lured to the polls? Does print or TV advertising lure you into stores to buy the advertised merchandise? Do you fall easily for these marketing schemes, and find yourself distracted by shiny things? Guess what—you’re susceptible…TO ALMOST ANYTHING.

If you abhor store advertising, internet ads, and the like, why do you fall for the most cleverly-disguised marketing plan of them all? I bet you’re so embarrassed right now. Don’t be—we’ve all been led to believe (through more clever marketing) that our vote counts, when really it doesn’t count at all. And it doesn’t really matter who gets elected, because Congress is where the real power lies! Just as you watch unit pricing and compare it to so-called “sales” in stores, watch Congress and compare it to the President. Soon, you'll know how best to spend your voting "dollars."