Polygamists or Poly-GAMISTS?

Let the hate mail commence, because I’m delving into religion.

Polygamists are men who have more than one wife, but poly-GAMISTS are men who play more than one game, or play one game with many people at once, as in the case with FLDS.

Poly means “many”, while gamist denotes “gambler” or scam artist. You’d think people would’ve seen this coming.

In this case, it’s the use of many by a few to conduct many scams upon one entity—Uncle Sam. Now if you ask people, Uncle Sam is not usually regarded as one in the same as God or Jesus, but for FLDS purposes, it may as well be.

Their Texas ranch is called the YFZ Ranch, or Yearning for Zion. For those of you who don’t know, Zion means “heaven on earth”, and that’s exactly what these people have going on: older men screwing underage females, claiming multiple women as wives (whether real or not), living in very remote rural areas (usually with lax laws and law enforcement) with limited access by the outside world, generating all the children that can be created as fast as possible, getting to live in modern, sanitary conditions, being free of normal societal pressures, and all on the taxpayer’s dime.

We don’t even know if there’s a political component to these people, but El Dorado was sure afraid of one: school boards, local offices, and even state and federal politics being suddenly interrupted by an onslaught of prairie-dress-clad women, and men with mysterious unidentifiable occupations.

The ladies were supposedly never let off the ranch, but I’m sure if the men wanted to influence local politics, they’d find a way to get all those wives into town to vote. They managed to get them into town to sign up for welfare, food stamps, and WIC programs!

Did you know this YFZ Ranch was supposedly going to be a corporate hunting preserve when the land was first purchased? Yep—the YFZ is an LLC. As for hunting, well, I’m going to imagine it was a hunting ground all right—for WIVES. I’m sure other polygamist men would come there, peruse the stock, choose an underage girl for a wife, then go start another family somewhere else. I’m sure all three known polygamist ranches here in the U.S. are made up of the same stock that’s just been moved around. Canada also has a polygamist sect, but it’s legal there. So why don’t the rest of them go join the ones in Canada?

They probably ran out of land, resources, or both. Being a liberal Socialist nation, the polyamists probably already drained that beast dry.

The specific people living at the YFZ Ranch were supposed to be the “inner circle” of FDLS, and the purest of the pure, worthy of such Cadillac-style living conditions compared ot cramped and squalid conditions of other polygamist colonies. I imagine this is true, seeing as how some guy I only remember as Tom something (who got busted about 5 or more years ago, in the intersections of Colorado/Arizona/New Mexico) who had about 5 wives and 30-some-odd kids living in what amounted to several trailers welded together, all right there in the middle of desert wasteland. No utility service of any kind was visible, and no roads or gardens existed on his property. Instead, it was discovered that his wives and children lived off all kinds of various government programs, courtesy of us taxpayers. Tom got taken to court, deemed a polygamist, forced to divorce all but one wife, and pay back child support to the rest of them.

Do you think Tom went along with the court? Of course not—he was found to be living right back in the makeshift trailer-mansion with his wives, earning nothing so he could pay nothing.

Now these people play more than one game at a time: not only do they sign up for and receive all sorts of public assistance, but as the LLC, they now qualify for (and get) government grants, business loans, even government contracts—doing WHAT, I have no idea. As the men theoretically work, whether inside or outside the property, they earn a paycheck, which allows them to get tax credits and deductions, and even to write off the LEGAL wife and her kids. In a previous article I wrote about how Uncle Sam actually encourages one-income families, the FDLS can carry it to the extreme with multiple kids, lots of business deductions, under-the-table income, and bartering as well as having the non-legal wives line up for social services.

This IS heaven on earth! Money is falling out of the sky for these people.

Let’s see…as a business owner, a man can write off all the building materials and interior goods (appliances, furniture, etc.) for a so-called “hunting lodge” that’s a beautiful work of art in itself (from a pre-fab house plan—not cheap), the gigantic limestone temple, the equipment and supplies for all the on-site cottage industries that have sprung up under their own LLC's, I'm sure (a concrete factory, a cheese-making shop, a forge, a medical clinic, and god knows how many more), not to mention his legal wife and many kids, possibly GRANDkids (depending on whether or not granddaughter signed up for her own benefits), and you come up with one hell of a legal windfall. Multiply this by the number of enterprising polygamist men, and you have just hit the jackpot!

UPDATE: does anyone smell an Enron here? The tax code does NOT preclude someone from selling merchandise from one LLC to another, especially when one guy (or group of guys) owns all the LLCs. Basically, it's an elaborate way of taking money out of one pocket and putting it in another, while getting all kinds of tax breaks for doing it.

At this point, I wonder how much of our nation’s debt is directly attributed to FLDS leeches. Probably not much, but they draw as much “corporate” welfare as a midsize company.

Now combine the legal money with the shady-and-questionable money: the social services. The more wives this man has, and the more children each wife has, the more money they can bring in from “single mom” benefits. To keep this ball rolling, the women must marry and have kids at an early age, and the more the merrier as far as money collection goes.

So let’s see now…they’re farming babies, sprouting fictitious businesses, and thumbing their noses at the law and law enforcement—all on the taxpayer’s dime. So where does God and Joseph Smith come into all of this?

A simple answer is, it doesn’t. My next question is this: what would Jesus do with these people?

Since the Pope is in town, I wonder if I could get him to take his Popemobile over to El Dorado and smite these thieves. Then we could follow up with a good whopping IRS audit, since YFZ is supposedly an LLC. I guess the usual route of non-profit televangelism and donations wasn't sophisticated enough for these people--maybe they should've consulted Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell's successor, and Joel Osgood the stadium preacher.

One last question: How pure can one be when one has a cell phone and laptop computer in their possession? On one of the many news tours of the compound's bedrooms, I noticed laptop computers, and the women repeatedly said (during their many TV interviews) that their cell phones were taken away. Exactly HOW isolated from the outside world can you be with access to those two items?

You just watch: the next hot business idea will be FLDS porn--SOMEbody will create it if it hasn't already been broadcasted on the web as it's happening. That would be yet another money-maker for them!

UPDATE: another question--could this be a form of prostitution-plus? The women are "pimped out" to known johns for the purposes of producing babies and collecting benefits. Instead of being holier-than-thou, they're actually being turned into Joseph Smith's hookers, or worse: an MLM with perpetual downlines.