The Business October 31st 2012, The "BOOsiness SPOOKtacular Edition of the Damned" Edition

How could there be a better place to spend Halloween than a theatre called the DARK ROOM? The Business is ready for the holiday, we have our candy, our costumes and our post victory parade riot gear all set.

Come one, come all, and bring the spirits of your ancestors with you. Don’t worry, if you get a case of the SPOOKIES, our guest this week will hold your hand.

Claudia Cogan will be joining us on this unholy night. She’s top notch. She's been on Last Comic Standing 7 as a semi-finalist, been nomi

nated three times for an Excellence in Comedy in New York (ECNY) award and won the first ever Time Out New York Joke of the Year nod. Claudia is an alum of UCB Theater improv school and played on several house teams. She has performed at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and at clubs and colleges around the country.

Come join Claudia and your regulars Sean “Spooky” Keane, Bucky “Puts the SIN in” Sinister, “Maniacal” Mike Drucker and Caitlin “GILLotine” for a night of good Halloween fun*.

*”good Halloween fun” may include getting possessed by Halloween demongoblins. The Business is not responsible for any damage to your soul incurred during “fun”.

Facebook Updates

Hey Guys! Just a quick note. If you want to stay up to date on what I'm posting on Facebook, here are a few simple steps to keep "in the know."

1. Click on the Fussy Monkey Business Page

2. Click on the gear symbol next to the "Liked" button

3. Click on "Add to Interest Lists"

(see picture below)

That way you never miss a post:o) 

Stay tuned for a tutorial on how to can applesauce...you won't believe how awesome my house smells right now!!! And how easy it is to do!!

The Business October 24th 2012, The "Home Game Before The BIG AWAY GAME" Edition

Before The Business hits the BIG STAGE at Cobb’s Comedy Club this Saturday night the 27th at 8pm, we wanted to enjoy a night at our Dark Room home with a perfectly delightful guest. In fact, if you’ve had the pleasure of meeting her personally or have just googled the meaning of her name, you know she is a calm and powerful goddess.

Shanti Charan is a winner. She won 1st place in the 2011 Rooster T Feather’s Comedy Competition and participated in the 2011 San Francisco International Comedy Competition

where she advanced to the semi-finals. Charan was recently awarded SF Weekly’s 2012 Best Stand-Up on the Way Up. SF Weekly says Charan’s writing “is clever and confident beyond her years.”

She will join your Business regulars Alex Koll, Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister and Caitlin Gill for an adventure 65 million years in the making*.

BYOBurrito and BYO$5. If you want to bring a friend, that’s FREE! Just grab a 2-for-1 coupon here, which is also where you can learn all about our show THIS SATURDAY, 8pm AT COBB’S COMEDY CLUB!!

*actually a stolen tagline from Jurassic Park. We cannot promise Spielbergian thrills, but there will be a dilophosaurus hidden under someone’s seat. WHO WILL SIT ON A DINOSAUR, WILL IT BE YOU?!?

The Business, "BIG BIRTHDAY ON THE COBB" Edition

The Business likes things big. Big guests, big theatres, big ol birthday parties. Big gets bigger when you do all the big things together. That’s why we are bringing big guests to a big theatre to have a big ol birthday party!!!!! Big!

Our guests know all about big. Jamie and Sis DeWolf produce Tourettes Without Regrets, a showcase of the best cutting edge underground talent with the longest running freestyle battle and the largest slam on the West Coast. The fight club of underground art, SF Guardian named Tourettes the “Best in the Bay” in 2012.

They are both guests we’ve wanted on The Business for some time, but when we heard that their birthdays are just days apart and fast approaching, we knew what had to be done. BIG BIRTHDAY SHOW.

 

This one is TOO BIG to hold at our home office at the Dark Room. Come join your Business regulars Alex Koll, Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister, Chris Thayer, Caitlin Gill and Mike Drucker at Cobb's Comedy Club, which should be ALMOST big enough for this show. Chris Garcia can't make it, but will be represented by friend of the Buisness Kevin Camia.

Come at us, bro.

About the Birthday Boy and Girl:

Jamie DeWolf is a slam poet, stand up comedian, teaching artist and filmmaker from Oakland, CA. Since his first slam in 1999, DeWolf (formerly known as Jamie Kennedy) won his way onto seven slam teams every year he’s competed and has since become a National Poetry Slam Champion, the Oakland and Berkeley Grand Slam Champion, a YouthSpeaks Mentor, and a featured performer on HBO’s Def Poetry Jam. His full-length feature film, SMOKED, premeried at the Oakland Underground Film Festival in 2012 and is currently in talks with distributors.

As the great grandson of the cult of Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, he remains a vocal critic of the cult in the public eye, and was the host of the first anti-Scientology summit in Clearwater, Florida, widely considered to be the “Mecca” for the Church.

Natasia Schibinger, aka “Sis”, is a film-maker, visual artist, and performer from Oakland, CA. After writing and directing her own short films which included dark humor and puppetry, she collaborated with Jen Gigantino. Together they created No-Penis Productions, an all female production company, producing shorts that favor beautiful women and pleasant violence.

As a performer, she’s well known to Bay Area audiences as the “evil Vanna White” of the infamous underground variety show Tourettes Without Regrets and performs disturbing vaudeville and crazed crowd contests. When she’s not shooting films, she performs at children’s princess parties and is professionally trained at face-painting, balloon animals and magic tricks. She’s currently in pre-production on a featurette about a swearing contest, hand drawing her own fairy tale, and planning her next short film.


Don’t miss this one! THIS IS BIG BUSINESS.

Speaking of BIG BUSINESS, those are the magic words to get yourself a $5 ticket to this show (regular ticket price is $20). Use the code “BIG BUSINESS” when buying your tix on the phone or at the door to get the super-discounted, bargain-basement ticket price of $5!

http://cobbscomedyclub.com/event/1C004942EB1D8A1A

The Business October 17th 2012, The "Heart of Romane" Edition

He’s the Cesar of our salad, he’s our iceberg breaker, he’s all heart and has very little E.coli, The Business welcomes the founder and host of The Romane Event, Paco Romane!

Paco Romane, is an award-winning stand up comedian (voted “Best Comedian” in the San Francisco Weekly and San Francisco Bay Guardian), and actor. He has established himself as one of the funniest new comedians on the comedy scene and his energetic, self-deprecating comedic style is a hit with audiences across the country. He is also

a long time company member of Killing My obster, the Bay Area’s premier Sketch Comedy group. He uses his work with Killing My Lobster to create routines and characters that are inventive, funny, spontaneous, and utterly unique. The Haight-Ashbury said "Paco Romane is a genius when it comes to developing characters.

After last week’s burrito frenzy, super stuffed with guests , we take it easy this week go with just fresh, filling Romane. Business regulars Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister, Mike Drucker and Caitlin Gill will be there, and you can be too, for just $5!

WE SELL OUT, so get there early to get a seat.

As always, BYOBurrito and share your chips and salsa, it’s the decent thing to do.

Getting Crafty-A Fall Party

Fall is here, and I love it! Whenever there is a new season, I feel the need to have a party. 

I invited a few of my girlfriends over, and we had a fall crafting party. Since it was in the afternoon, I kept the menu simple, and just made desserts.

We had S'more Cups, Pumpkin Maple Trifle, Caramel Corn, and strawberries. I also made some delicious apple cider that made my house smell wonderful.

 For our craft, we made owls. I found the inspiration at The Diary of Daves Wife. 

I got all of my supplies from Hobby Lobby.

 Here is a candid shot of the girls hard at work...punching, mod podging, and painting away.

 And another shot of them hot-gluing the ribbon on the backs of the owls.

 Their owls turned out really cute, and they were all proud of what they came up with. I love it when they leave with smiles on their faces;o)

Here is a shot of mine.

 They were so easy to make, and it was so fun to sit and gab while crafting the afternoon away.

When everyone left, they got to take home a jar of homemade apple butter.

I can't wait to have another crafting party. It's good for the crafting soul;o)

I'll be sharing some more sewing projects throughout the week. I can't seem to stay away from my sewing machine for very long...I'm lovin' it!!

Should Business Schools Be Braver?

About a year ago, a journalist asked me: “The current crisis; you could see it as the failure of corporate governance in general, and boards of directors in specific. What radical new ideas do we see coming out of business schools in terms of how we could organise governance and boards better?”

I answered him what I thought was the truth: “Ehm…. not much really”.

Last week, I was in Prague, for the Annual Meeting of the Strategic Management Society; a bunch of business school professors talking about their research. I attended a session which featured a panel of five senior professors who specialise in governance and boards. I couldn’t resist asking them the same question as the journalist had posed to me: “What radical new ideas do you have in terms of how we could perhaps organise governance and boards better?”

Their answer was basically the same as mine, with equal levels of eloquence: “Ehm… not much really”.

In fact, after a slightly stunned silence, one professor replied to me: “What do you think?” (the reply every professor gives to a student when s/he does not have an answer available), where the second one answered “boards is not really where the action is”. And that was that.

Somehow, I have to admit, I did not expect a real answer – just as I did not have one. And that is because business school professors seldom have an opinion. We are all trained – in our research, through rigorous PhD programmes and years of socialization – to not make assertions but to only make claims that are thoroughly proven, by solid empirics and rigorous theory. And I applaud and adhere to that; I like evidence. However, at some point, you need to take that evidence and develop an opinion. And that’s where it usually stalls, in business schools.

Because people are not used to say anything without evidence, they end up saying nothing at all. That’s because when it comes to questions such as “how could we organise this better?” the evidence is always going to be imperfect.

It reminded me of what a paediatric neurologist once told me: “What I do is part art; part science. I know all the scientific evidence and treatments and medication, but at the end of the day, every child and case is unique, and you have to make a choice and an develop an opinion”.

In business schools, we’re more likely to let the child die. Since we have no perfect evidence on what the exact treatment should be, we end up doing nothing.

Hence, that the five professors did not express an opinion did not really surprise me. But what I later realised, and what did surprise me – although I blame myself for my naivety – is that not only are you not expected to have an opinion; you’re not even supposed to want to have one.

Even raising the question and asking for an opinion is considered suspect, illegitimate and un-academic. As business school academics, we describe and seek to understand reality, but are not supposed to want to alter and improve it. Which is a shame, because sometimes I feel the world of business – and the world in general – could do with a bit of improvement.

“I know what I want, I have a goal, an opinion. If God lets me live, I shall not remain insignificant, I shall work in the world and for mankind! And now I know that first and foremost I shall require courage and cheerfulness!” Anne Frank, April 11, 1944

Patina Monogram Tutorial-Sisterbug Monograms Product

My friend Kera, from Sisterbug Monograms asked me a few weeks ago if I would be willing to get creative with some wooden monograms. I always jump at the chance to get my craft on, so of course I said YES!

So then, I had to come up with the perfect finish....what's a girl to do? 

A couple of years ago, before Pinterest(WHAT? There was a time before Pinterest?), I ran across this really awesome tutorial at Brassy Apple on how to do an aged paint technique.

I knew that this would be the perfect paint treatment for my gi-normous "Dub-Yuh."  

Today, I am showing you the step-by-step process that I went through. 

The monograms come in a natural finish..or to us country folk, "not done up".;o)

 So because they are un-finished, you need supplies to make it even more awesome.

For your supply list, you will need:

-Acrylic paints, I used 4 in all

-Sponge Paint Brushes

-Dove Bar Soap

-Sand Paper

-Blow Dryer(to make the paint dry quicker) &

-Paper Towels

The four colors I chose were Metallic Red, Turquoise, Mustard Yellow, and Brown.

I chose the metallic red as my base coat. 

After painting the entire letter, sides and all, I used my blow dryer to speed the drying process. A great trick for those of us who are extremely impatient...of course, I have never heard of anyone who actually enjoyed watching paint dry:o)

Once the paint was dry, I rubbed the bar soap in random places. These are the spots where the red will shine through.

The next step is to paint with your second color. I chose turquoise. 

I used the blow dryer once again to dry the paint.

And then I sanded the areas where the soap was applied. You can see where the soap is, even though it's been painted over. If by chance you can't, you can just run the sand paper over the entire letter, and the paint will pull up really easy where the soap is.

Now, I thought about leaving things as is. It looked fine with just the red and turquoise, and some of you are probably saying, "Girl, you should have left well enough alone." But, I decided to add in my third color, mustard.

 I rubbed more soap on the turquoise areas, and then painted the mustard yellow around all of the red.

 Here is a closer view of what I am talking about. It doesn't look all that fantastic, which is perfectly fine, since this is supposed to be an aged painting technique:o)

 After the yellow dried, I sanded once again. 

The colors were still a little too stark for me, so I decided to continue the aging process.

 That's where the brown came in. I simply dabbed a paper towel into some brown paint rubbed it on, and then immediately rubbed it off.

 In this picture, you can see that the left side has been "dirtied up" a bit, and the right side has not.

 And here is the final product. An aged "W" or dub-yuh, as they say down here in the south.

 To give you a little perspective on how enormous this thing is, here is a picture of our front porch.

I also had one made with my Fussy Monkey Business logo. 

I used a stencil on this one.

I dirtied it up a bit too, but it's hard to tell in this picture.

 I didn't get a picture of Kera's finished monogram, but here she is hard at work on hers...she's probably going to kill me because she didn't know I was snapping pictures of her as well:o)

So swing on over to Sisterbug Monograms, and place your order for a fantastic wooden monogram. They range in size from 8 inches all the way up to 36 inches. It's never too early to start Christmas shopping!!

A big thank you to Kera for giving me a chance to get creative, and thanks to Brassy Apple for the inspiration and  fantastic tutorial!!

The Business October 10th 2012, The "SUPER BURRITO" Edition

The San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival is NOW! We plan to spend the weekend celebrating our two favorite things to indulge in late at night in the dark, COMEDY AND BURRITOS. This week, The Business has wrapped up some of the best guests of the fest into a super warm, spicy, delicious comedy experience.
 

From Seattle, Wash., Barbara Holm has performed at the San Francisco Sketchfest, the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Bumbershoot Arts festival, and the Women in Comedy Festival in Boston. Her comedy has been described as clever, unique, idiosyncratic, and exuberant. Seattle City Arts Magazine called her a “comedy wizard.” The Bay Area’s Spinning Platters says, “She’s noted for her wit, one-liners and off-center humor.” Seattle Stranger newspaper described her as an “adorable wunderkind” and Barbara describes herself as “running away from this question to hide under the desk right now.”

Andy Haynes was raised on salmon and caffeine, in the shadows of Mt. Rainier in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest. He now lives in Los Angeles, where he is a comedian, though he looks like he should be skippering a sailing regatta. With performances on Conan, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and the New Faces showcase at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, Andy is becoming a must see performer.

 

George Peyton Gordon III (yes that is his real name) is a comedian from Dale City, VA, (or as he likes to call it, the great state of Virginia). He currently lives in New York City where you can see his stand-up almost every night, then argue with him about things like which is the better Weezer album—Pinkerton or Blue (definitely Pinkerton)—or why Alien is better than Aliens (because it just is). He has been in the New York Underground Festival, The Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, OR, The Out of Bounds Comedy Festival in Austin, TX and his writing has been included in the blog Rock Bottom. (Read it.) He has an unhealthy obsession with using parentheses.

For 3 years and counting, Alice “Pretty-in-a-Not-Shitty-Way” Wetterlund has performed her non-yelling brand of comedy all over, at such clubs as Comix and Broadway Comedy Club, UCBNY and San Francisco’s Punchline, and on such critically-acclaimed shows as College Humor Live, Big Terrific, and Tigerlily, as well as at Bridgetown and Women in Comedy Festivals. She’s appeared in numerous sketches for shows like “Meatsteak is Dead” at Webster Hall, “Mad Men Jumps the Shark” for Landline TV, and the web series “It Gets Betterish” from Eliot Glazer and Brent Sullivan. She’s also starred in TV commercials for AT&T, Budweiser, BMW and Maxwell House, because she’s a real artist! She’s written for Slate Magazine and Night Of The Living with Kurth Braunholer, and the rest of the time she was caring for her special-needs cat, Sparkles (R.I.P.)
We miss you, Sparkles.

As always, it’s a $5 show, and you can bring a friend for FREE!!! if you bring one of our 2-for-1 coupons. That’s $5 more you have to spend on burritos.

The Business has always been BYOBurrito, but this time, WE MEAN IT. BRING BURRITOS. EAT DELICIOUS BURRITOS AND WATCH COMEDY. YOLO BITCHES.

Steve Jobs – Perhaps Apple Could Have Done Without Him

“Steve Jobs – the man was fallible” is what I wrote in October 2011. I guess it seems pretty innocent now – although there may some remnants of people who still feel offended by it – but, believe it or not, one year ago it actually triggered a small barrage of hate mail.

Since then, I have read or heard others describe him as a terrorist, an asshole, and a psychopath (which, given that many US presidents have been shown to have had psychopathic tendencies may not even be unlikely). Hey, all I said was that he was “fallible”!

But all these people, in the wake of calling him a terrorist, an asshole, or a psychopath, without exception, also described him as a genius. And a person who built the greatest company on earth, changing all of our daily lives in the process.

But, in fact, I am not so sure of that either…

I don’t mean this as some lame attempt at a final insult – suggesting that he wasn’t even responsible for building this great company – but as a genuine question: Would Apple have been equally great today if it hadn’t been for Steve Jobs? And, honestly, I think that is not impossible. And that is because I am a Tolstoy fan.

Tolstoy, in War and Peace, using Napoleon as an example, had a very clear opinion of leadership. A leader “is just a banner, they hold aloft in the wind”. “Napoleon thinks he commands a 100,000 men, but in reality, he follows them”. Tolstoy thought that what drove the French into Russia was not the act of a single man – Napoleon – but the result of much greater, collective human forces. Those forces needed a spearhead, and that became Napoleon. But if it hadn’t been him, someone else would have emerged to follow those forces as their leader. Because “The course of earthly happenings … depends on the combined volition of all who participate in those events, and … the influence of a Napoleon on the course of those events is purely superficial and imaginary”.

Would Apple have become great without Steve Jobs, or would someone else have surfaced to spearhead and personify the combined volition of the people working in that area in that company at that point time? I think the answer might be yes.

But who knows? And I know I will never know. But I also know that pretty much every person who reads this piece thinks he or she knows that the answer is “no”. “No, Apple would never have been this great without Steve Jobs”. And nothing will ever change that. Because what Steve Jobs has going on Napoleon, is that he is dead. Or better, that he died before Apple’s demise. Napoleon lived to see his armies defeated by the Russians, and by the forces commanded by the Duke of Wellington at Waterloo. People started to realize he wasn’t such a superhuman genius as they once thought he was.

When Apple’s performance will start to plunge (and I mean “when” and not “if”) the Great Man Steve will not be there to blame.

And of course Apple will, one day, start to underperform. One day, it will be outcompeted by its rivals, and even lose their shareholders’ money in the process (if alone for the simple reason that if it continues its current growth rate for another decade it will be more valuable than the rest of planet Earth combined, eyeing up dominance of the solar system next). It will fall. But then people will simply say that it wouldn’t have happened had Steve Jobs still been around. Because he’s their banner; their banner they hold aloft in the wind.

The Business October 3rd 2012, The "Cool Hand Joe" Edition

Though The Business does not endorse any criminal act, we definitely endorse badass stories about robbing banks.

The truly thrilling part about Joe Loya’s story is his own transformation, but along the way… he robs banks. ROBS BANKS. I mean, we’ve all thought about it if we get into a bank line too soon after seeing Point Break, but this guy DID IT. A BUNCH. It’s a pleasure to welcome him to The Business.

Joe’s essays and book reviews have been published in the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle, UTNE Reader, Washington Post and other national newspapers and magazines. In 2002 he wrote and performed his one-man show, The Man Who Outgrew His Prison Cell, at the Thick House in San Francisco. He has appeared on CBS News, CNN, MSNBC, FOX’s O’Relly Factor, and other TV shows to comment on cultural events. In 2007 the documentary Protagonist featured the story of his radical life change. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed memoir The Man Who Outgrew His Prison Cell: Confessions of a Bank Robber (the New Yorker called it “…genuinely thrilling…”). He regularly speaks at universities, conferences, and to business groups, to talk about the creative power we can unleash in our lives when we own our story. In 2009, with national award-winning editor and writer Kerry Tremain, he co-founded Own Your Story to help folks find illumination and change in their lives through the transformative power of writing one’s life story.

We are also pleased to have friend of The Business, Kevin O’Shea joining us this week.

Kevin O’Shea is a comedian. He is large and covered in hair. He no longer wears glasses. He has been described as dark, dry, sharp, oaky and full of tannins. He might have read that off a bottle of wine. He has been featured on IFC and Comedycentral.com. He has appeared at the 2010 & 2011 SF Sketchfest and the 2010 Bridgetown Comedy Festival.

We SELL OUT! So if you want a seat, make sure you’re there before 8. BYOBurrito and remember, mild salsa is for sissies.

Changing frequency of newspaper publication is not a sign of the apocalypse

The number of newspapers that have reduced their publication frequency in response to market changes and economic conditions continues to rise.

This year the Times-Herald in Newnan, Georgia shifted from 7 days a week to 5 days per week. The New Orleans Times-Picayune moved to 3-day per week schedule, as has The Patriot-News in Harrisburg, Pa., and many papers in the Advance Publications group.

In doing so, the papers are bolstering their digital publications and producing in physical form only on days that most interest retail advertisers. From the financial standpoint, these moves make a great deal of sense.

Reactions to the changes have ranged from disbelief to resignation in the journalism community. Many have bemoaned the loss of dailies and argued non-dailies cannot possibly serve their communities as well. That argument is problematic, of course, because there have typically been 3-4 times more weeklies than dailies in the U.S. and many have done far better jobs covering towns and neighbourhoods than dailies.

The assumption that 7-day per week publication is, and has been, the norm is another example of ahistorical and baseless views spread about the industry these days. In 1950 less than one-third of newspapers (549 papers) published a Sunday edition and the number with Sunday editions peaked at 917 in 2000, being published by just two-thirds of all papers. Saturday editions were not the norm until well after mid-twentieth century. The appearance of high frequency daily publication was fueled by the demands of advertisers.

If one considers the definitions of daily publication one finds that it is nowhere near 7 days per week. The internationally accepted definition of a daily newspaper is a paper published only 4 days per week.

This is not to say that the industry is without problems. The changes in publication frequency do reveal how the inordinate dependence on advertising revenue has shaped the industry and how wealth continues to be stripped from newspapers.

The changing frequency should be seen as part of the evolutionary shift toward digital only publication--a shift that is occurring at a varying pace in different types of papers and markets. But it does not mean that journalism in print, in print and digital combinations, and in digital-only forms cannot serve community needs.

Fall Art-Finger Paint Tutorial

A few days ago, I helped out in E's kindergarten class. Once a month they have "Funtastic Friday." It's hands on learning, and it is lots of fun.

I helped them make really adorable shirts that they will wear on the field trip to the pumpkin farm at the end of the month. 

I loved the shirt so much, I decided that I wanted the kids to do it on canvas and use it as part of my Fall decor.

These little paintings were easy to make, and the kids loved getting their hands dirty.

 Here's your supply list:

Paints- Brown, Green, Orange, Red and Yellow

2 Sponge Brushes

Paper Towels or baby wipes

Canvas

Paper plates to squirt paints in

Willing participants;o)

 Just a dab of each of the paints will do...this was actually too much paint for the both of them.

 You'll first want to paint the entire hand, and just below the wrist with brown paint. The kids get a kick out of this because they say it tickles:o)

 Once all of the hand has been painted, flip it over with fingers spread apart and press firmly on the canvas.

 You can see how much of her hand I painted in this picture.

 Next, let them dip their little finger tips into the paint, and start making leaves..(here's my little photographer..didn't he take great action shots?:o)) 

 The red dots are supposed to be apples...When they get all of their leaves painted, then it's time for the pumpkins at the bottom of the canvas.

 You will use your second sponge brush and paint this part of their fists orange.

 Make sure they keep their little thumbs out of the way

 Turn the canvas upside down and press their fist firmly against the canvas, just to one side of the tree trunk. Repeat on the other side. 

This is what they should look like when you're done.

I then added the finishing touches. I outlined the pumpkins with brown, gave them green curly-q's, and added stems to the pumpkins and the apples. 

Easy and fun Fall art for everyone to enjoy.